Christmas in Illinois

THIS ISLAND HAIR will now take a brief break (yes, after only one week), I am leaving for Illinois to have Christmas and New Year's with the Carriere family. Maybe I can post something from Illinois, don't touch that dial!

I been consuming much snacks that I oughtn't; I feel like some class of shambling, capering bottomfeeder. Soon that will all change, I understand that we'll be having a deep-fried turkey for Christmas - thems good eatin'!

N. and I watched my "Spider Baby" laser disc last night. Apparently the "Footage from the 30th Anniversary cast and crew reunion at the Nuart Theatre in Los Angeles" is also available on the DVD. Check out the back of my 1994 haircut - while director Jack Hill is interviewed you can see me in the background trying to elude further conversation with actor Sid Haig.

I hope y'all have phenomenal Christmas and New Years holidays. During the holidays last year I was so miserable. Little did I know that 2005 would bring unlikely triumphs and long, proud strides in a New Golden Age. I am transmitting good vibes to you, let me know if you want me to recommend some holiday reading.

Merry Christmas from Phil Spector

This is the Christmas CD that I want to be listening to next year. I'm grateful to be able to listen to the Andy Williams "Merry Christmas" CD this year, but next year I want to have more Phil Spector access.

Our Nicole suggests that David Letterman will have Darlene Love on his show tomorrow night to perform a Christmas song - as he does every year (why is this news to me? where have I been?). It's probably the same song I mistakenly attributed to Frankie Lymon a few days ago.

And earlier this week I thought I was listening to a Bing Crosby Christmas song, but N. said no, it was certainly Dean Martin. This is a young lady I need to have around.

Russian squirrels

First of all, this is that BBC news story that Russell found, I keep meaning to post this:

Thursday, 1 December 2005 - Squirrels have bitten to death a stray dog which was barking at them in a Russian park, local media report.

Passers-by were too late to stop the attack by the black squirrels in a village in the far east, which reportedly lasted about a minute.
They are said to have scampered off at the sight of humans, some carrying pieces of flesh.

A pine cone shortage may have led the squirrels to seek other food sources, although scientists are sceptical.

The attack was reported in parkland in the centre of Lazo, a village in the Maritime Territory, and was witnessed by three local people.

A "big" stray dog was nosing about the trees and barking at squirrels hiding in branches overhead when a number of them suddenly descended and attacked, reports say.

"They literally gutted the dog," local journalist Anastasia Trubitsina told Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper.

"When they saw the men, they scattered in different directions, taking pieces of their kill away with them."

Mikhail Tiyunov, a scientist in the region, said it was the first he had ever heard of such an attack.

While squirrels without sources of protein might attack birds' nests, he said, the idea of them chewing a dog to death was "absurd".

"If it really happened, things must be pretty bad in our forests," he added.

Komosmolskaya Pravda notes that in a previous incident this autumn chipmunks terrorised cats in a part of the territory.

A Lazo man who called himself only Mikhalich said there had been "no pine cones at all" in the local forests this year. "The little beasts are agitated because they have nothing to eat," he added.

Les Environs De Lourdes

I just noticed that the classic John Denver & The Muppets "A Christmas Together" currently available on CD is missing three of the original songs, including "Little Saint Nick". I imagine it's the result of a steaming load of legal Bah Humbug rather than an artistic impulse. But when my laptop gets fixed I can make you a copy of the original version, so it's not the end of the world.

Brought the nephew Jarod belated presents last night for his second birthday. I got him a John Deere cup/bowl/plate set from Illinois and a talking Viewmaster. He regarded the talking Viewmaster as indigenous folk regard the Great Metal Bird - interested, but wary of bad juju. I just noticed that the "religious" section of the Viewmaster website offers 3-reel sets of "Les Environs De Lourdes" and "St. Anne de Beaupre". Jarod might have to share the Viewmaster with Uncle John.

I've finally reached the section of Jane Eyre that features St. John. I thought he would be a bearded, longhaired man given to fits of spiritual passion - an anchorite of the moors wearing a burlap sack. He sounds more like a Star Trek Vulcan; English country pastor who won't cut loose, his greatest thrill is walking his dog Bongo, no I think the dog's name is Carlo. But at least he let Jane Eyre crawl in out of the rain and gave her a teaching job. Now she's teaching the "gaping rustics" at the country day school and having mad dreams of Rochester whom she left sobbing on his couch.

Christmas Jewels

I saw "Batman Begins" and I would recommend it to anyone - it's entertaining and surprisingly good (director Christopher Nolan also made "Memento" and the Al Pacino version of "Insomnia"). It's 141 minutes long and seems very epic. I even liked the new monster-size Batmobile.

Cillian Murphy played my favorite character, the psychiatrist who is also The Scarecrow. To overpower folk he puts a burlap mask over his face and sprays his victim with panic-attack gas to reduce them to submissive wrecks before the horror of The Scarecrow. I kept asking myself, "Who is Cillian Murphy reminding me of? Christopher Walken?" and then I realized that he was full-on James Spader.

Jeff's beloved wife Jessica burnt me a copy of her Christmas CD and I wish everyone could have one. It has Elvis, Gene Autry, the Ronettes and a host of favorites (at least I think it does, she didn't include a list of the song titles, let alone the artists. Not that I'm complaining.). Thanks Jessica!

This morning on the radio I heard that a noteworthy Christmas gift in Russia this year is a $19, 000 cell phone. "Those Russians," I said "I wonder what kind of new technology they've developed that costs that kind of money?" Ha, it's a regular cell phone but it's covered in jewels. Of course!

rock for light

If you're like me, you noticed Sinéad O'Connor on the cover of the L.A. Reggae • African • Caribbean music magazine The Beat this month and you said to yourself, "What's going on now?" The last time I got a Sinéad O'Connor album was in 1990, but I've been listening to Throw Down Your Arms, her new CD of reggae cover songs, constantly since Friday night. My favorite song on the CD is "Vampire". I'm as surprised as anyone, who would have thought? Now if only she would make an album of songs about Judge Dread, or at least about Judge Roughneck.

My apartment is teeming with Christmas snacks. I'm struck by the vanity of attempting to evenly space out such abundance throughout the rolling year (rather than snacking in such high volume for one holiday month). Society has made me what I am, and the sooner I abdicate personal accountability the merrier a snacker I will be.

Nicole and I have been blissfully lounging since her arrival Saturday night. This morning she is coming to campus so I can bring her to coffee and introduce her to longtime pals Judea and Kourtney. If we were going to Starbucks we could have eggnog flavored coffee (it's not good, but it's not that bad either).

any landing you can walk away from

I had my last Russian final yesterday, the semester is over; whatever the challenges next semester brings, *this* semester is over. I have confirmed what I have long suspected: the genitive case is something to be wary of.

Hey, if you're like me you grew up listening to Andy Williams' album "Merry Christmas". It doesn't seem like my parents' style, but wasn't it constantly playing at Christmas time! I finally got hold of the CD at Amoeba and the hits keep coming.

Nicole is arriving via the great metal bird tomorrow night. There's pizza in the refrigerator and Luna bars in the cupboard. I have the Netflix lined up, and I went to the barbershop to get all my glorious, wavy hair cut off. My poor, tired, aching head; I need a hug.

I've got about a hundred pages left to go in Jane Eyre. St. John hasn't shown up yet, but he's looming ever nearer. Surely he will be the man who sweeps Jane off of her feet and takes her away from ever lurking on the damp moors, hey?

And hopefully tomorrow morning I'll be able to start writing "Youth Bus" (church youth group, overnight camping trip, inexperienced assistant pastor invites along a severely depressed man, has to put malathion in the man's mohawk to kill the lice).

And many may doubt the continued existence of the Rasputin story, but I will work on that too, tonight or tomorrow morning. Russian is fun but can be tiring, and now it's time for Christmas and less tiring pursuits.